The air around me was filled with Panic Anxiety stench of sweat and old gym socks. To my left sat an elderly woman, constantly drifting in and out of a state of half consciousness, to my right sat a man who could easily pass for Elton John's lost son.
The saving grace of my subway ride sat across from me. A short Panic Anxiety with her nose buried in a book. Her eyes, intent on Panic Anxiety pages before her, rose to meet mine. Our eyes locked, but as for a mere moment as she smiled ever so slightly. Every instinct in my body encouraged me to break the silence, to say something funny and witty but I froze dead in my tracks.
Three stops later she hurriedly picked up her belongings and exited the subway car never to be seen again. Was she the love of my life? My soul mate? My future wife? Probably not, but then again you never know. The moral of the story is I let an opportunity pass by me without taking full advantage of it.
One of the key things that limited me on that day was fear. Uncontrollable fear of Panic Anxiety forced me to reassess my initial instinct to approach. Many men each day are stricken with this exact same unfounded fear, limiting them from obtaining what they truly deserve and desire.
Why is this fear so overbearing, and better yet how can you make the fear go away for good?
Let's first look at the rationalization behind the fear and how your mind perceives the world surrounding you. North American culture has trained us from a young age to be wary of strangers and people that we don't know. How many times did your mother tell you as a child, "Don't talk to strangers!"
As a child this made sense, our safety and security were of paramount interest. Now that we've matured and have become adults in our own right this rule no longer has a place in our lives. However, old habits die-hard and we still associate the act of talking with people whom we don't know as wrong or intrusive. In order to kick the habit of approach anxiety for good, you need to be able to escape the mental block of approaching and talking to strangers.
A lot of guys make the mistake of going from not approaching to approaching really hot girls right off the bat. This creates a huge amount of pressure and can serve to permanently limit your game. Start off by approaching people who aren't intimidating or threatening. These people could include the elderly, men or even women that you aren't attracted to. Ask them non-intrusive questions such as, "Do you know what time it is," or "Do you know where I can find..."
Visit your local mall or a crowded street and practice these approaches. Work on these approaches repeatedly until you feel comfortable approaching. The next step is to use the same approach strategy on attractive girls. This will get you in the Panic Anxiety that approaching attractive women is okay and normal and will instinctively make you gravitate towards women.
Notice how the women react to your approach. You'll find that most girls are very receptive to you.
Now that you're comfortable with approaching attractive women, you're ready to advance to the next step. After asking your opening question, keep the conversation going by making observational statements. Comment on a noticeable feature of hers that stands out. Don't worry about anything more than having a natural conversation at this point. Work your way through the above phases and practice, practice, practice. The more you practice, the better you will become.
They key is to maintain your confidence and keep approaching. It's only natural that some approaches will not go as well as others. The girl you approach might be having a bad day or might be in a rush. Don't take it personal, get back on the horse and ride again. Keep working on your approaches and before long your fear of approaching will be long gone.
Ramses is a certified dating instructor at http://www.skillsofthegame.com He has provided thousands of men with practical advice for improving their success with women
Charles Sale: ECB panic almost taken to the Max
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